I'm really, really enjoying this. There's really solace in being alone. Especially if you've spent an entire year practically around people. My mind's at rest. I'm free from the consuming, emotional (highly unnecessary) frenzy of being around people. My mind is so much clearer.
I don't know. People around me keep saying I should accept my environment, see the good in everything. I'm beginning to think that's just fucking bullshit.
If I really don't feel I belong somewhere, I don't feel the urge to find something that I can relate to. Sometimes, when it comes to certain things, you don't seek relationships... either they are there or they're not. Having to force myself to fit in somewhere is not open-mindedness and acceptance... it's blatantly pathetic.
I like renewing myself and I've come to realize that that quality portends fear or perhaps disregard for attachments. Thta's why I'm better off on my own... I have only my standards to live up to. Only I expect from myself. Realistic but idealistic enough to push the envelope from time to time. I like the privacy and the quietness.
